You May Drink Too Much If You…

If you’re like me, then you probably like to party. And, if you’re really, really like me, then you really, really like to party. Brahs like to party! It’s a fact of life, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But, every now and then, I find myself pondering over the ever-so-elusive and perplexing question of whether or not I might be partying and drinking just a little too much. And, drinking too much can necessarily mean one of two things. I’m either drinking too frequently, or I’m drinking too much on one particular occasion. Hell, it’s usually a combination of the two!

But, it never hurts to slow down a little bit for a week here or a month there in order to give yourself the chance to clearly and accurately reflect on what the hell you’ve been doing lately. So, here are a few indicators or warning signs that you may want to try to pay attention to and recognize to help you know when it may be time to scale it back a bit:

1. You have just as many beer bottles in your shower as you do shower products. You go to grab the Dove men’s face scrub and mistakenly end up with an empty Bud Light.

2. While browsing your Twitter profile, you discover a random, mysterious tweet or pic from a few weeks ago, and you have absolutely no recollection of tweeting it.

3. When purchasing alcohol, one of the most significant factors that you take into consideration in making your purchase is the price per unit. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re okay. You’re probably not drinking too much.

4. Anytime someone mentions Charlie Sheen or you see a Two And A Half Men rerun, you want to start drinking.

5. You don’t leave your apartment without grabbing your wallet, phone, keys, and flask.

6. You never have to request an additional drink at the bar. The bartender simply knows that you’ll signal him or her when you’re concluding your evening.

7. You consider the most important aspect of automotive maintenance to be consistently ensuring that your vehicle’s brake lights, turn signals, and headlights are in proper, working order so that you can avoid any unnecessary and frivolous contact with members of law enforcement.

8. You’ve eaten Jack In The Box 3 or more times within a single week’s time period.

9.  Whenever you take out the trash, your neighbors are instantly alerted to the fact by all of the clanging and banging of the empty bottles.

10. Quiet “off nights” at home consist of ripping through an 18-pack while publicly bashing feminists on Twitter.

2 Comments… add one
ThaJive August 18, 2014, 12:56 pm

I consider 6 just to be a trait of a good bartender.

ClickBank August 19, 2014, 12:32 am

I can definitely identify with 9. My neighbors must HATE me!


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