The Rule Of Pregaming

Every brah knows the importance of pregaming when it comes to holiday parties, charity events, first dates, or any other affair that may present a nice opportunity to get completely hammered-ass, falling down drunk. But, very few brahs actually know how to execute this delicate procedure with the precision needed in order to reap the maximum benefits that it can yield and ensure total success.

For example, you don’t want to shoot a couple McCormick Orange Vodka shots right before walking into your company’s annual sales presentation only to find yourself absolutely stone-cold sober an hour and a half into it. And, on the flip side, you certainly don’t want to roll out to meet up with your new girl and her exclusive group of close girlfriends only to wake up the following morning and not recall a damn thing except for the fact that you hammered down 6 shots of liquid cocaine immediately before leaving your apartment.

So, I’m going to clue you in on a good rule of thumb to follow when it comes to pregaming. You always want to have 1-2 drinks for every hour that you plan on being out…before you go out! And, before we go any further, let me just tell you that shots are, by far, the most preferable method for executing this rule. So, let’s say that you’re set to meet your girl and her parents for a nice, intimate dinner at Del Frisco’s to celebrate the fact that she just landed a cashier job at Whole Foods, and you estimate that the whole ordeal will last about 2 hours. You’ll surely want to pound a solid 3 shots’ worth of Jager out of your flask just before rolling up to the valet booth if you want to play the evening safe.

Plus, not only does this rule of pregaming keep you sufficiently intoxicated throughout the duration of your scheduled affair, but it also provides the coveted illusion that you need in order to mask the fact that you’re a raging, debilitated alcoholic when it comes to all of the other members of your party. It’s a perfect win-win. So, the next time that you have an important event to attend and it comes time to pregaming, you got this brah!

3 Comments… add one
Erik April 1, 2014, 10:27 am

If I had to pre game with Obama, I’d slam a few shots and then slam my fist into his stupid face.

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T8R April 2, 2014, 6:15 pm

haha…awesome pic!

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Trailer April 8, 2014, 8:49 am

It’s probably rc cola.

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