Blowjob Week: Why Every Girl Should Honor It

I recently saw some post on Facebook about it being “blowjob week” and, while I immediately “liked” it, I was completely shocked to see the number of comments from the poster’s randoms inquiring into what exactly blowjob week actually is. And, I know that Facebook is no Twitter, but still. I was simply shocked. But, even more harrowing, however, was the sheer number of wily females bashing and altogether rejecting this glorious, enchanting, and well-established week of the month! You don’t believe me, brah? Take a look at this.

Now, for those of you who are in a committed relationship or who regularly go to church, blowjob week is that week of every single month when your girl is on her period and eats a shit-ton of pickles and Ghirardelli chocolates. She’s moody, aggressive, independent, needy, and horny as hell…all at the same time! Yes, it’s that week when you seriously reconsider why the hell you’re even dating her to begin with. But, since you are a true brah, you ride out the storm like a gentleman, and you resist the temptation to block her calls and protect your tweets while she’s out of commission because you know that you can count on her to make it all worth your while by holding up her end of the bargain and substituting some good ol’ fashioned blow jobs for sex while she’s out of her mind, bat-shit crazy.

So, while the lovely Sasha is still probably trying to figure whether she’s a mother, writer, or runner, the fact of the matter is quite simple. Blowjob week is not a “myth.” It’s not a “punishment.” And, it’s not meant to “shame” anyone. It’s just like any other part of being in a relationship. It’s one person compromising and putting her partner’s feelings and interests before her own. So, if your girl has a problem with honoring blowjob week, I might submit that the only real problem may be your girl, herself. You think of any bad bitch that you know, and she’s going to be totally down for blowjob week. Literally. You think Lana Del Rey sits out smash season while she’s on her period? Hell no! She gets down in the pale moonlight while she alternates between pulling drags off of her Marlboro Red and some of that delectable man-meat. So, the next time some prim, prissy, little duchess tries to give you grief over blowjob week, it’s simply on to the next one. You got this brah!

2 Comments… add one
MRBJ March 8, 2014, 10:26 pm

Blowjob weeks rulz!

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TheLEAN March 11, 2014, 4:46 pm

Hell blowjob week is probably my favorite week of the month. too lazy for sex!

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