Wiping: The Sit Or Stand Dilemma

Recently, I was listening to the Russ Martin show on my way home from the gym, and he was discussing whether or not its more feasible for a brah to sit or stand while wiping his butt after taking a good, old-fashioned dump.

Now, to be quite honest with you, I really had no idea that there was even any debate or controversy surrounding this subject. I, myself, am totally on team sit. Why? Well, I suppose that it just came naturally to me. I mean you’re already sitting there while you conduct your business, right? Now, call me lazy. Call me improvident. But, I just instinctively wrap each session up in the same manner that I began it — siting down. Plus, this ensures that everything is nice and accessible when it comes time to wipe which is just the way that it should be.

However, as it turns out, Mr. Martin evidently sides with team stand on this particular issue. And, in support of his argument, he cites the fact that one would have to significantly compromise himself by placing his hand down into the toilet bowl excruciatingly close to the odious and murky water in a desperate and tedious attempt to execute the ever-so-coventanted wipe. However, while this concern may certainly be justified in some respects, there is simply no denying the fact that a simple and straightforward courtesy flush would easily remedy this plight. Additionally, the orchestration of maneuvering from a squatting to a standing position while crudely indisposed would surely result in a sheer catastrophic and terrifying fecal disaster. So, to me, the physical dynamic of standing to wipe just doesn’t sound like it would practically play out in real life.

However, I’m interested to hear your thoughts and what all of you have to say about this topic. Therefore, I’ve created the 1st ever You Got This Brah poll to once and for all determine and resolve this ultimate quandary. So, do you sit or stand, brah?

Do You Sit Or Stand, Brah?

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2 Comments… add one
Ass Smash October 23, 2013, 7:33 pm

If you stood up to wipe wouldn’t that smash shit all over your ass???

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MikkT October 29, 2013, 9:40 am

Swampass.

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