Top Ten Reasons To Smash Lana Del Rey

  1. If you get bored while smashing her, you can create a game where the goal is to knock whatever piece of crap she’s wearing in her hair off of her head and behind the bed.
  2. She became famous by writing a song called, Video Games.
  3. She’s looks just like everyone else, so you can imagine you’re smashing just about anyone you want instead of her.
  4. If you forget her name during the course of the night, it won’t matter because she’ll have changed it by the time morning rolls around and you wake up.
  5. You can immediately improve any of her songs by speeding them up to 128bpm and adding a house beat behind it.
  6. If she’s absolutely horrible in bed, you have the perfect excuse to go rough on her and never call her back.
  7. If she’s absolutely incredible in bed, you have the perfect excuse to go rough on her and never call her back.
  8. She’ll never force you to watch The Great Gatsby.
  9. She’d be totally down to make a run through Taco Bell for a Beefy Nacho Griller after the dirty deed was done.
  10. No matter what you do to her or how vile you are, she’ll probably be too drunk to remember what the hell happened anyways.
5 Comments… add one
Yepper October 13, 2013, 10:34 am

Yeah I’d smash

Reply
MrTrop October 13, 2013, 1:14 pm

Pass all day

Reply
Dopamere October 13, 2013, 2:43 pm

Help us help us all

Reply
BHead October 13, 2013, 7:06 pm

Daddy want NunNuns!

Reply
Dtime January 24, 2014, 1:29 pm

This entire post is lame!

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