The shower beer needs no introduction. Hell, there’s an entire website devoted to this simple, yet integral item. Whether you’ve had a long, hard day at work or spent all day on your beanbag chair playing X-Box, there is no denying the refreshing, euphoric bliss of an ice, cold shower beer to properly wrap up the day. No matter what type of shit you had to deal with during the day, there’s no denying the fact that there are simply few things on this earth that a shower beer can’t cure!
Perhaps, your boss bitched you out over showing up to work 10 minutes late even though you show up 10 minutes late nearly every single day. Or, maybe your girl was all over your ass when she got home because you left all of your laundry in the dryer. Perhaps she told you that she has been cheating on you for the past 3 months and has inadvertently infected you with a horrible and debilitating STD. Hell, a rabid elephant could have escaped from the local zoo and raped your favorite pet for all you care. However, all of these things are of little to no consequence to you so long as you can rely on the crisp, fortifying taste of a shower beer at the end of your day.
And, all you brahs know exactly what I’m talking about. People (primarily girls) like to give the shower beer a bad wrap. But, this is completely unjustified. What’s the first thing a girl does after she gets home from a long day at the office–a generous portion of which was spent in the bathroom stall crying over the fact that her coworker forgot to include her and ask if she wanted something to eat from La Madeline’s? She turns off all the lights in her apartment, draws the shades, lights a few $50 candles, puts on some Lana Del Rey, fills a cap of bubble bath, and enjoys a glass a wine while she soaks in the tub for an hour. And, all you brahs know exactly what I’m talking about. So what’s all the drama over the shower beer?
There should be no drama. No drama at all. If a brah wants a shower beer, a brah should have a shower beer. Screw what anyone else has to say! Whatever it is that you spend your days doing, I’m sure that you attack each one with vigilance, zeal, and passion. You should not be denied this simple reward which you are innately and constitutionally entitled to. Therefore, the next time you go to step into the shower, crack open a cold one and enjoy every single last sip. Hold it in, and let it radiate throughout your entire body. You got this brah!