It recently occurred to me that Jennifer Connelly is absolutely drop-dead, off the charts, one-hundred percent, smoking-ass hot! She’s had my attention ever since “The Rocketeer.” You remember. Don’t you, brah? It’s that movie where the guy who beat the hell out of J. Lo in “Enough” finds a nazi jet-pack and decides to try and save his business by flying around with it in front of people at the air show. I remember being like 4 years old, sitting in the movie theater with my mom, and eating my sour patch kids as I watched that movie and thought to myself, “Damn, I would totally bang Jenny!” That was back in 1991.
Today, I was sprawled out on my couch nursing a massive hangover that I incurred from the Spurs’ fall from grace in game seven when “Blood Diamond” came on some shitty cable channel with commercials. In a desperate attempt to avoid any movie starring Leonardo Dicaprio, I painfully reached for the remote control just as Jennifer Connelly popped up on screen. That’s when it hit me. It’s been over twenty years, and that girl is still downright gorgeous! And, I’ll be the first to admit that I enjoy skanky girls just as much as the next brah, but I’ve always had a reserved regard for Greta Garbo type chicks who exude a classic sort of elegant beauty. So, the next time you see Jennifer Connelly, just remember…I got this brah!