Dating a Hot Chick is Like Eating a Delicious Pizza

Everyone knows that hot chicks are totally hot! They’re used to being idolized, adored, pampered, and stalked by almost every guy that they come into contact with. This, of course, goes straight to their tiny, little brains. And, all of a sudden, they think that they’re too good for any guy who comes their way and offers to buy them a drink. Therefore, it’s no shocker that it’s sometimes difficult to score a date with one of these girls. Today, however, we’re not going to concern ourselves with the methodology of locking down a date with one of these hot chicks. Instead, I’m here to let you in on a little, well-known secret that will help to lift your spirits in the event that you’ve been rejected by one of these girls.

Dating a hot chick is like eating a delicious pizza. You see a pizza commercial or one of your brahs mentions Little Caesar’s, and it immediately attaches itself to your mind. Nothing has ever sounded better! So, you exert the effort, front the loot, and not long afterwards you’re sitting in your apartment engulfing the first piece of pizza which has never tasted better. You take down a second piece, quickly followed up by a third. By the time you’re on your fifth piece, however, the pizza you once so longed-for and covenanted tastes like a piece of cardboard smeared with Ragu spaghetti sauce. Your stomach rumbles as you look down and see the huge puddle of grease that has stained the middle of your paper plate, and you are exhausted. All of a sudden, you realize that that pizza you initially thought was delicious turned out to be a horrible idea.

It’s the same exact thing with dating a hot chick. The first week, she smells incredible, shares your passion for health and fitness, and she handles great. The second week, she smells pretty decent, strength trains a bit but seems to primarily focus on cardio, and the ride can seem a little harsh at times. After a few months, the girl straight up smells like a can of Neutrogena bronzer, restricts her training routine to twenty minutes on the elliptical while reading Cosmo, and you’ve discovered that her front end is all out of whack!

Now, I’m not saying that there’s no excitement to be had from dating a hot chick. There is! I’m just simply saying that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. So, the next time you’re in the club, offer to buy a hot chick a Long Island, and your offer gets turned down just try and remember the diminishing return you experienced with that delicious pizza. It’s the exact same thing with dating a hot chick. You Got This Brah!

5 Comments… add one
Piaaz Man May 16, 2013, 10:19 pm

All this does it make me hungry. thanks

Reply
Tracy May 17, 2013, 8:58 am

this is bullshit

Reply
My Girlfriend Sucks May 17, 2013, 10:32 am

Cardboard and ragu. Describes my lady’s cooking to a T.

Reply
Campri May 19, 2013, 11:54 pm

your lady is a bi*ch

Reply
Noah May 25, 2013, 8:13 pm

dating a hot chick is like dating your mom brah

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